eh, I already made fun of my actions in the OP, but I do take your point. I see this post has already been moved. If the mods feel the content of the article has no use to visitors of the forum, please feel free to flag/delete/ban.
Hey Folks,
In an insidious attempt to market my custom controller company, I have posted a lengthy article on creating your own custom controller. Info is below - I hope it can help!
http://blog.60works.com/archives/143