stryd_one Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 I was sent this in an email from a friend... Those of you who do not speak English as your first language, this is for you :D You Think English is Easy???Can you read these right the first time? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time topresent the present . 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row . 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg ineggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we findthat quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pigis neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don'tgroce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn'tthe plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends butnot one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of allbut one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eatsvegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all theEnglish speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verballyinsane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at arecital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run andfeet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man anda wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of alanguage in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which youfill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off bygoing on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects thecreativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at allThat is why, when the stars are out, they are visib le, but when thelights are out, they are invisible. PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick" You lovers of the English language might enjoy this . There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of thelist, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At ameeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are theofficers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP areport ? We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UPthe silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lockUP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the littleword has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP fortickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is onething but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it isstopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP atnight. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about theproper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sizeddictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to aboutthirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP alist of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time,but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more. Whenit threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP . When the sun comes outwe say it is clearing UP . When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP . One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP ,so........... Time to shut UP .....! LOL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cimo Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 geee what about a language with 9 pasts 3 futures 2 conditional forms consecutio temporis to be respected and 6 different forms for every person (I you he, etc) ?? ::) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lief138 Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 Now replace UP with the F bomb....There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP." ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugfight Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 The Tough Coughs As He Ploughs the Doughhttp://www.langston.com/Fun_People/1993/1993AEU.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audiocommander Posted February 21, 2008 Report Share Posted February 21, 2008 eh... what about french:"un ver vert dans une verre verte vers minuit"(a green worm in a green glass around midnight)...and surely something is spelled wrong 'cause I am not french ;DI come from Bavaria,wo die Has'n Hos'n und die Hos'n Hus'n hasnhehe..cheers,Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBunsen Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 What about Mandarin, where a many-line poem can be composed using only the word shr and different tones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nILS Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 mmmm mandarine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryd_one Posted February 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 What about Mandarin, where a many-line poem can be composed using only the word shr and different tones?Shr! (that one means 'yes'. It's spelled with an I, IIRC, but you don't really say it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRE Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 thanks!Wow, a person can find odd stuff around here sometimes.Im teaching EngRish in Japan, and this sort of problem with the language is particulary tough for people to wrap their heads around.Japanese is SO easy by comparison (not that my Nihongo is any good yet...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugfight Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 ...Japanese is SO easy by comparison ...akkk, 3 levels of politeness for everything,i wouldn't live through it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryd_one Posted February 29, 2008 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 akkk, 3 levels of politeness for everything,i wouldn't live through it...LOL :) Nah I got that one down, early in my education of japanese culture: Smile, Frown, nihon-to. It's not so hard. I think the American version is smile, frown, shoot ;)PS: ha ha, made you google. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goblinz Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 LOL :) Nah I got that one down, early in my education of japanese culture: Smile, Frown, nihon-to. It's not so hard. I think the American version is smile, frown, shoot ;)PS: ha ha, made you google. Nah, still holding out with Yahoo, actually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLP Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 I come from Bavaria,wo die Has'n Hos'n und die Hos'n Hus'n hasnyeah! best language in the world. I remember some article in a newspaper were the name compared the "Oberpfälzer" (certain region in Bavaria) dialect with a dog barking. ;D"dou da dada da dadirn und dou da dada dadirn und dou da dada aa dadirn" http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=MDnByMSXjM4regardsmatthias Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cimo Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 ... so was that japanese? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLP Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 ... so was that japanese?LOL ;Dhttp://de.youtube.com/watch?v=fZqeVnvnaAk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nILS Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 Oh man.. I seriously hope bavaria will become sovereign soon ;-) Then I can proudly say "no, those are not germans. They're bavarians." Actually I can say that already. Whee! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLP Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Oh man.. I seriously hope bavaria will become sovereign soon ;-) Then I can proudly say "no, those are not germans. They're bavarians." Actually I can say that already. Whee!yeah, but remember: we've got TK ;Dand AC!...but....well....It wouldn't disturb me if you would remove Franconia from Bavaria ;D ;D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryd_one Posted March 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 Mmmmm... chocolate bavarian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
audiocommander Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 and AC!...but....well....It wouldn't disturb me if you would remove Franconia from Bavaria ;Doh yes, me neither, definitely ;Dbtw:what the *$% are chocolate bavarians? Beer Pralinées? :-X Is this an aussie speciality? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilba Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/7686/chocolate+bavarian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryd_one Posted March 2, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 http://images.google.com.au/images?q=chocolate+bavarianSo much goodness..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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